With wedding season upon us I thought I’d give some advice for brides and future wives periodically here on the blog.
While I was wedding planning I heard a few horror stories. One that stuck with me, for some reason, described an acquaintance who on her wedding day burst into tears over the ribbon that was tied around her bouquets.
It was striped ribbon. She didn’t want striped ribbon.
I don’t mean to put this bride down. She was crying over more than striped ribbon. Weddings are stressful and there are lots of lofty expectations and crazy family and friend dynamics. And sometimes it all ends up in you crying over a craft supply. I get that.
But I really did not want to cry on my wedding day, and I definitely did not want to cry about striped ribbon on my wedding day.
So I decided that I would pick one thing. One thing that I was nervous about, and I would decide in advance not to care about it. If it turned out wrong the day of, so what? It would not get me down.
So for my one thing, it was my flowers. I was very nervous about my flowers because, as I’ve said before, I don’t think in flowers. I don’t get them. I don’t know what they’re supposed to look like or why I like the ones that I do. Plus, I’m asking the florist to do something that she knows will look good, and yet I had some very specific requests that I honestly wasn’t sure about. So I was nervous that I’d see them and hate them… either because I had bad ideas or because my tastes just don’t line up with what wedding flowers are supposed to look like.
But I decided that if the flowers looked bad, oh well. Who cares? I would just make sure that we took a lot of photos without them.
On the flip side, I also decided to pick one thing that I would care about that day. That I would let myself micromanage, in the name of using my energy toward something rather than just being stressed about EVERYTHING.
And no, your one thing cannot be “the entire wedding.” I’d also recommend that it be something that happens within the first half of your day so you can stop obsessing at some point.
My one thing was getting the bridal party changing area clean BEFORE the ceremony. I was so concerned that my bridesmaids or mother or friends would be stuck cleaning up that they would get to the venue late and miss some of fun or that we’d have to delay pictures and that would throw off the rest of the timeline. So about 20 minutes before the ceremony was set to begin I just started ordering people around and making them take things to their cars or my car or something. It was my one Bridezilla moment, I’m pretty sure, but I think I was pretty Zen (well, as Zen as a type A person can be) for the rest of the day.
So pick one thing to care about and one thing to dismiss the day of your wedding. Do all the other worrying ahead of time, and just enjoy your amazing day!