30 Things: unnecessary apologies

Here at sometimessheblogs, Wednesdays are for commenting on this list. So let’s get it started.

Number 29 on the list of things I should know before I’m 30:

Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

I’m going to cut to the chase.  I don’t know how to do this.  I’m always apologizing.  It is my defense mechanism, it is how I diffuse a tough situation, because sometimes apologies are more about saving a relationship than about being right or it being your fault.  And yes I got that from Pinterest.

But it’s true.  I’m hoping I figure that out by the time I’m 30.  I’m going to spend the next 3 years giving out millions of unnecessary apologies.

What about you?  Do you apologize for things that are not your fault?

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2 thoughts on “30 Things: unnecessary apologies

  1. I don’t necessarily apologize for something that wasn’t my fault but I always apologize for the upset or the misunderstanding stating my intentions were not to upset. “I’m sorry for offending you” or “for upsetting you”. Even if my motives were pure, I never meant for someone to get hurt and I value the friendship. So I think the act of apologizing does help defuse the situation just be careful for WHAT you apologize for. While I apologize for the misunderstanding, I don’t take the blame for it unless I am at fault. Sometimes you can apologize for the upset, misunderstanding or fight and not the deed that caused the incident – sometimes THEY need to see their wrong too and I am not taking responsibility for what the choices they made or their overreaction. I try to leave room for them to have the ability to do that. If I take all the blame, they cant see and learn from their mistakes. Our society has an epidemic on “nothing is ever my fault, that would make me not perfect.” So good luck! hahaha!

    • Great thoughts tonya!

      It’s funny how when I look back on this post now, having read your comment, I have a lot more that I would have written (I wrote this post 2 months ago, I think). I wish I’d pointed out that sometimes an apology is needed in spite of it “not being my fault” but then there are some apologies we say just because we feel like we should. I want to stop giving those types of apologies, but the others, for the sake of a misunderstanding, or a hurt, or for a relationship, those I’ll keep.

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