If you don’t know what I’m blogging about on Wednesday you can check it out here… I’ll wait.
Ok, you’re back.
So Number One on the list goes like this: 1) One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
First… can we talk about why the first thing on this list has to do with boyfriends? I’m not against boyfriends or husbands (obviously), and I’m not even one to be all “I am my own woman! I don’t need a MAN!” but does it HAVE to be number one on the list? There are so many facets to me, I really don’t want to first things thing that I focus on before I’m 30 to be old boyfriends.
But I am commenting on this so I will continue on like that doesn’t bother me. Not even a little bit.
I’m going to start with the second part. Yes, I do have a boyfriend that reminds me of how far I’ve come. This would be my high school boyfriend. I may not even be able to call him that, I think we were “going out” for like one month. But this was a big deal for me. I had a boyfriend. He had a car. And he had dated… a lot. And NOW he wanted to date me!
So that’s why he reminds me of how far I’ve come, not because he was a bad guy. Actually, his only fault was that he was just a high school guy. Who had dated all (quite literally) my friends, or at the very least their friends. And who was very good looking.
I need to take a minute to give out a ten year old apology to my friends from that point in my life. I was 16 and ridiculous, and acted really stupid and was not the most awesome friend during that time. I periodically flashback to that one month period in my life, and I shudder. That is not an expression, that is literal. Most of them know (and probably knew then) that I was/am sorry for the way that I acted, and if they don’t and they’re reading (they’re probably not, I’m always the most internet-centric of all my friends) I hope they know now.
So yes, he reminds of how far I’ve come. Of how I know that while romantic relationships are important and will change (and SHOULD change, especially when it comes to married relationships) your friendships in some ways, they don’t give you a license to dismiss your friends’ feelings or opinions. And I will be honest and admit that the main reason that I was interested in him was that he was interested in me. I liked the attention. And he was good looking.
You guys, he was really good looking.
Fine, he was my trophy boyfriend. And yes, I’m better than that now.
As for the boyfriend I can imagine going back to? I’m out. Unless I get to count The Guns, since he was my boyfriend at one point. I hate to question the wisdom of this super awesome checklist, but I just don’t buy that this is important. Look, I found the one guy for me, and then I got it done, we got married, and this is it, I’m not gonna do it again (although if I could just have a wedding again I would, but that’s neither here nor there). Why do I need someone that I want to go back to if I have the someone that I want? Besides, there’s a reason it didn’t work out with that person, right? And that reason is probably still there… so why would I want to go back and torture myself?
But why is that something I should have before I’m 30? If you’re not married by the time you’re 30, no big deal. And I mean that, relationships aren’t something you can complete on your own because you want to, it’s not like getting a Master’s degree or a buying a dog (or cat… some of you are cat people. it’s cool). BUT just because you’re 30 doesn’t mean that you MUST have this long varied romantic history, of crappy boyfriends and awesome boyfriends and boyfriends who were just ok, and boyfriends who only took you to Taco Bell and boyfriends who showered you with roses and international boyfriends and boyfriends next door. Whether you’ve dated 100 guys or just one guy… I don’t think that alone makes your romantic life any more rich or your life any more fulfilling.
Perhaps the point of this item on the list is to say “have some kind of quality romantic relationship before you’re 30.” And if that’s the point, I would have to agree. But I’m not one to sample some things, find something I like, continue sampling, and then decide ONLY once I’ve tried everything.
Unless it’s frozen yogurt. Then that is totally what I’m going to do.
Thoughts on item #1?