Talking with The Guns: Candles and Garbage

Many of my best conversations with The Guns have happened while I was in the shower.

Many of you reading this are wishing I didn’t bring up something so provocative.  Well, don’t you worry.  When I say they happened while I was in the shower, I mean just me, alone.

Basically, I get so bored in the shower that sometimes all the time I ask The Guns to just sit in the bathroom with me and talk to me so I’m not so bored.  I’m not self-centered at all.  This is also helpful in that it keeps me from taking a shower that is one hour in length.  Left to my own devices I will do this because my extremely interesting (and extremely imagined) interview with Matt Lauer (sometimes Oprah, less often James Lipton, NEVER Ann Curry) runs a little long.  But when The Guns is in there and I’m approaching twenty minutes he gently prods, “ya almost done in there?” and this is my cue to begin sudsing up my loofah.

Anyway, this is practical and it’s also great because The Guns sometimes says funny things and then I get to share them here.

So one day when The Guns and I were talking (Because Matt Lauer was unavailable I guess) I, apparently, got mad about something (I know, you’re all shocked, I’m typically so easygoing!) and this is his response:

The Guns: Don’t get mad!  Get Glad!

Me: I don’t need garbage bags right now!

The Guns: What about candles?

Me: (not confused because I’ve actually already explained this to him before) That’s not Glad.  That’s Glade.

The Guns: Oh.  Are they spelled the same?


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