My Open Letter to NBC

Dear NBC,

Lately you’ve been doing some weird things.  I do not approve. 

First I want you to know, I’m not a hater.  I’m a lifelong lover of you, not one of those people who mainly watches CBS and flips over to watch one episode of 30 Rock and then goes on and on about how weird and/or terrible you are. That’s not me.  I promise.

You see, my parents raised me right. What did we start our mornings with?  The Today Show.  Who did we get our news from?  Tom Brokaw.  What did we watch on Thanksgiving?  The Macy’s Parade in the morning, the dog show right before lunch, and then Friends in the evening.  What station were we tuned to on Thursday nights, the most important night in all of tv?  That’s right, none other than the rainbow turkey.

So when I criticize your recent decisions, please know that this is coming from someone who really loves you and wants you to succeed.  And continue to do things that she likes…

First, how could you have ever done that to Conan?  Oh never mind, that was a long time ago, but I must point out that was the first really weird, and, I think, stupid thing that you did.

But let’s talk about Whitney.  Ok, I actually don’t think that show is as bad as some people do.  I think it’s halfway decent.  But it does not belong on your network.  You have happily descended into a world where comedies include actors breaking the fourth wall, talking unbearably fast, and celebrating in an obsessive knowledge of any and all moments in pop culture, no matter how obscure.  Stay there.  Bringing in outsiders with their “live studio audiences” *cough* laugh track *cough*, comedy via base and easy sexual innuendo, and some crazy chick who is so weird but desperately wants to be like the rest of us (read: a Zooey D wannabe) is just not gonna work. 

But everybody wants to give a pilot written by and starring a woman a chance.  And I support that.  But if it’s not good or doesn’t  fit (or just really belongs on CBS in between 2 1/2 “Men” and 2 Broke Girls) then you’re just making it worse. 

So I’m not really mad that you bought it.  No, I’m mad that you’re continuing to buy it.  And that you’re rearranging your schedule to accommodate it.

Now you’re bringing 30 Rock back and putting Up All Night  on Thursday nights… and these are not terrible ideas.  But why are you moving Whitney to Wednesday and shelving Community indefinitely?  WHY?  I know I’m a little late with this, but this is just a really terrible decision.  Terrible.  You are punishing sitcom creativity and rewarding a comedy that we’ve all seen before.  And stopped watching.  Especially when it was on NBC.


Dear NBC, This is Awesome…

…ANd this is not.

 

A better decision… sell Whitney to CBS (those people will watch anything) and then move Up All Night back to Wednesday (it’s doing awesome, why mess with a good thing?  Better to up your Wednesday ratings than just barely inching up your Thursdays) and bring back Community.  You can wait until next fall to do this if you must (to save face), but if you don’t do it you will have a mutiny on your hands.  And Wednesday will suck because of Whitney.  And CBS viewers will start watching NBC and I just can’t have that…

Anyway, I hope you understand my disapproval and will consider my suggestions. 

But that’s not all. We have something else we need to discuss.

I heard something on the radio this morning…
image

This is the worst photo ever, but you get my point… RYAN does not Equal Matt

Why would you replace Matt Lauer with Ryan Seacrest.  First of all, does this dude not have enough jobs?  I thought we were supposed to be creating jobs for more Americans not more jobs for the same American!  Also, I just really can’t end my morning with “Seacrest, Out.” and I really could not stand to wait for my news…. after the break. 

Replacing Lauer with Seacrest is like suggesting I have tofurkey when I want a Big Mac, attending a Lee DeWyze concert because Taylor Swift was sold out, and replacing bacon with absolutely anything.

If you really want to go this route you should just replace Ann Curry with Cat Deeley.  But that’s neither here nor there. 

So there you are. I don’t know what is your worst offense, but you need to fix one of these things.  Forget Seacrest, bring back Community, or throw Whitney overboard. But completely ignore me and I might have to start watching CBSbesidesBigBangTheory or ABCotherthanModernFamily.

Please don’t make me do that.

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5 thoughts on “My Open Letter to NBC

  1. You are completely and totally right on every count in this one! And it was fun to read…
    Now can you turn your attention to that horrid all-star version of America’s Next Most Favoritest Top Model?

    • Actually, a few weeks ago, NBC requested Grimm for a full season. They were just testing to see how well itd do on Thursday, since alot of sci fi people not named me watch Fringe and Supernatural on Fridays.

      I am hoping.

      • sorry, I skipped a whole part when I replied to you. My comment should have read: “I don’t know about moving Grimm, but I’m pretty sure Prime Suspect is either cancelled or moving from Thursday.”

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