The quoting Husband

There are many unique characteristics of my job, but probably the most unique is that friends, family, and acquaintances are invited to our workplace to observe what we do.  They literally come to performances and watch us work.  Most other occupations would find this annoying, unprofessional, and would not allow this, but, as the spouse of a performer, J gets to watch me work.  And that’s not annoying- it’s supportive.

Well, maybe it’s a little bit annoying.

J spent almost every Friday in October (and one Sunday) being supportive. My cast was so impressed with J for seeing the show multiple times, and enjoying (rather than enduring) it  (it’s a good show, but it’s way campy… so seeing it many times in a short time period takes a lot of love and commitment), and, truth be told, so was I.  He became one of our biggest fans.  It was fun.

At first.

Just kidding, it was always fun, but there were some annoying parts.

You see, my husband is a quoter.  He can quote Zoolander, among other movies, in their entirety.  Ever since he saw last week’s episode of The Office, he’s been saying “I do declare…” whether or not it’s an appropriate moment to say said quote.

So what did he do after he’d seen the show 3 or 4 times?  He began quoting.  Which was cute for a second, but as the weeks went on and he saw the show more, he began to learn more of the show.  So he was quoting the whole show.  So after I came home from a weekend of hearing the show 12 times in 3 days, I got to hear it again from Quotey McQuoterson.

I’d do something nice for him and he’d say “So nice of you to RISE to the occasion” one of our standard jokes in the show since we played zombies that come back from the dead.  And it’s really only funny in that context, not when I’ve cooked dinner.  This is jut one example of the many quotes he would use, and then look at me to see if I “got it.”  And I always got it.  Believe me.  And as annoying as it was (imagine if your spouse took the most mundane/repetitive part of your job and somehow began repeating it when you were home, when you wanted to relax and escape work.  If you’re a teacher, he would insist on calling you “Mrs. Jones” instead of your first name and would ask for a hall pass to go to the restroom.  Or if you’re in business he would quote memos that you got via e-mail.  Or something. Now you understand my annoyance)   also found it to be adorable because it showed his support.  He doesn’t quote things he doesn’t like.

But I had to draw the line somewhere.  There are a few love triangles within this show, and one of the funniest lines that J decided to latch onto was the nerdy character’s insistence that he belonged with the lead character: “she’s gorgeous, I’m beautiful, we just mesh well together…”  Funny, right?

During the week, a fun romantic moment with J, and then he says, “you know, you’re gorgeous, I’m beautiful, we jus–“

Don’t worry, I didn’t let him finish.

Guys, choose carefully when you’re picking quotes to woo your ladies. Especially if you’re picking quotes from her show, that are said by another guy.  Because she’s gonna think of that other guy, which is gonna be weird because she doesn’t think of that guy romantically (for many different reasons, one being she’s in love with YOU and not the guy you’re quoting) and now it’s like he’s there in that romantic moment when he shouldn’t be.

So we agreed to avoid quoting romantically.

But I must admit that I’m RELIEVED that my next show is much less quotable.  That way I don’t have to be so annoyed with him…


One thought on “The quoting Husband

  1. “but were missing a teddy bear”
    “but you're my boss”
    “i could use a business partner”

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