Together or Separate?

When J and I first started dating I didn’t intend for him to always pay for dinners and movies, etc.  In fact, I brought it up fairly early on, paying for our first official meal together…


we had been on our first date (a date which, for various reasons, did not include dinner) the night before, and he agreed to come and help me move (until he gets rid of his trusty truck, the White Knight, J will always be helping people move…) the next afternoon, and because I didn’t want to end our time with moving boxes, I asked him to eat an early dinner with me.  I asked him, and I knew he had not initially planned on having a meal with me that day, so I went into one of my favorite (read: cheap, and lots of junk food) restaurants near campus knowing that it was casual enough that if he ended up paying I wouldn’t feel bad, but knowing that I would probably pay for both of us, which wouldn’t be a big deal at all.

And I did pay… and he seemed surprised, but thankful…. not that he couldn’t afford it, but that I would pay since the dinner was my idea.  And I was away all summer, and whenever he saw me he would pay for meals and I (or to be honest… my parents) would often pay for other expenses (tickets, etc.) And one day on the phone I asked “when I get back to Fort Worth, how do you want things to go in terms of paying for dinners and dates?” And he didn’t really have an answer for me.  It was basically, “let’s wait and see… it depends on where we’re going… maybe if we could split sometimes…”

As we’ve established, I’m a rule follower, and I had no rules… and this put me in quite a predicament.  I was still a student who didn’t want to spend a lot of money, and the prospect of free dinners sounded really nice… but I was dating a teacher, not a banker, and I would never want to take advantage of someone’s generosity.

J ended up almost always paying for dinners when we went out, but in the end I think it all evened out… well, maybe not when you consider the engagement ring and the honeymoon… oh well.

Today J and I visited that same restaurant where I payed initially.  There was nothing special about today or that restaurant, we just really love the food there… we get pizza and wings and a drink for $7, so we leave happy.

And I guess J and I were dealing with a wedding ring-blind waiter or else the overt romance is already gone from our marriage… because he brought us separate checks…

Would anyone else find this annoying?  I mean, that’s one thing that I thought would be a no-brainer once we got hitched…


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