I got an e-mail from a now out-of –town bridesmaid yesterday: “how are you doing? You seem really calm, I can’t believe it!”
Truth be told I’ve vacillated between a serene calm feeling that is steeped in, “this does not have to be a big deal, people successfully get married everyday, and even if something goes wrong, at the end of it all we’ll be married,” and a nervous, harried feeling that obsesses over the exact timelines of wedding week events, confirming every last appointment for everyone, and RSVP math.
I will continue this vacillation, and I will probably add more settings, which will include, but are not limited to:
a) ecstatic bride: picture a grin the size of Texas and lots of spontaneous dancing
b) the countdown bride: “Do you realize it’s 30 days until the wedding, 29 days until the rehearsal, 28 days until the day before the rehearsal?”
c) anal retentive bride: “I really do think it would be good to rehearse a sixth time”
d) sentimental bride: announcing every remotely sentimental moment, including the last time I do my makeup before I get married, the last time I stay at my parent’s house as a single woman, the last time I hug my bridesmaids before I get married, the last time I put my contacts in…
e) the weepy bride: I don’t really need to explain this one…
f) opportunistic bride: “Um, Let me play my bride card….you WILL do the cupid shuffle.”
g) the frantic bride: this goes along with b except with lots of frantic running and waving of arms, and probably lots of to do lists that I then continue to lose.
h) giddy bride: at times when I should cry I will giggle and be unable to stop.
i) nostalgic bride: recounting every fun memory with every member of the wedding party, and then retelling the story of how Jacob and I met until even my parents wish I would just go ahead and get married already.
j) impatient bride: “FORTY-EIGHT hours until the wedding?!?!?! Are you serious… I’ll die before that happens!”
k) freaked out bride: “do you realize that after the wedding… I have to live with a BOY?!?”
Any and all of these symptoms should be feared, expected, and probably ignored if they get too annoying.