Me: So what happens if one day I get so mad at you that I go in the bathroom and lock the door?
J: You mean like we read about that one couple?
Me: Yes. What would you do?
J: Probably say, “kj, I love you. Please come out.”
J: Or something else.
Me: thinking this over…
J: like maybe call a locksmith?
M: eyes dart quickly… mock angry gaze
J: No, not that, that would be mean. I’d get my crowbar!
Me: You have a crowbar?
Me: Well, we didn’t register for it, so I know we won’t have it.
J: Maybe I used the Home Depot gift certificate that Mikhail (not his real name) is going to give us to buy the crowbar?! See!
Me: skeptical looks…
J: already moving on… hey, what if I tell him that I use his Home Depot gift card to buy wallpaper… he’d be so mad, it’d be awesome…